I do not think I slept at all last night. 
My dreams were too entwined with reality. 
I would dream, and then wake up and think about the dream, and think about reality. And then it would happen again. 
I saw so many hours on my alarm clock.
I was awake before the birds.
and then before the rain.
I got up at 8:30.
and now it is 3, and I am so exhausted.
much to do
but ineedanapithink.
so much to think about.
like how to wait for something you didn't want in the first place
or maybe you did
or would be content without
befuddlements and restoration
and trusting.


{don'truleitout
wheniletthem}