I finally understand. 


This is the hardest and the most amazing. (actually, it is probably neither of these things. but it is really hard and really wonderful.) 


I understand Jesus being my "Hallelujah all I have is Christ!" I understand the joy that comes with that.


My identity is found in Jesus Christ. But there are definitely still things I hold too closely to. But when those things are removed, I realize I am still happy, still joyful, still full, still whole. 


I just lost a friend. (meaning my friend decided to abandon the friendship)
Jesus asked me to cut my hair in September.
My math grade is horrible. I'll probably have to retake the class.


But I am still full. My heart is content. I have everything I need. 


Sure, in the scheme of eternity these are small things. But they are big things in my heart and they are things God is using to draw me to Him. 


The greatest struggle and the most amazing.