glimmers of reality

This is a lonely week. But God has provided people for me every time I need them. 


A few hours ago I spontaneously saw my friend Amber while lunching. I went to sit with her and she asked me what she should read. (um, best question EVER- okay not true, but close) So I ran to my room and got Captivating for her to borrow. And then while we were giggling with joy about it, I got a little glimmer of reality. Of life. 


Sometimes I get tricked into thinking that I'm wasting my life. Sometimes I worry about what I'm going to do next. After college. Sometimes I get discouraged because it seems I'm going to be here for five years. I worry, I worry, I worry. I often think that my life hasn't really started yet, hasn't been useful. 


But sometimes, like today, I get glimpses of A, what I want to do, and B, what I am already doing. They are very similar. And sitting with my friend, I just realized that YES. I am living now, I don't have to wait for later. 


It's these seemingly small things that are important. Being with friends and encouraging each other, listening to each other, sharing joy, sharing food, sharing gifts. Adoring Jesus, falling off the sidewalk because the sky is too stunning to stop looking at, puddle jumping in His rain. 


Because who are we to say what is small? Even a peanut is large to an ant.


I love days like this, when I get to be with friends, and realize something delightful, like I am already being successful. 


(There's a long way to go, for sure, life is a process. I mess up every day. But still. Still. God is using my small life.)