My God did not call me to comfort. For some reason, He put me in America. There are so many resources here. Why am I not using them? Why am I not bold?
My brain understands, and my heart desperately wants to leap and be His radical daughter, but somehow I am dragging.
I don't know how to fix it. But I know that I am incredibly overwhelmed when I think of how I was chosen to live here, chosen to even exist. When I think of how my brothers and sisters all over the world are being persecuted for being my brothers and my sisters. When I think of how we are all part of one family. When I think of how I am not called to comfort. Even if I do live here now, it doesn't mean I get to live like I am part of this culture. It's overwhelming.
It's overwhelming how I waste so much time. I waste time worrying, I waste time watching stupid tv shows, I waste time sleeping...
And still, He loves me. Still, He loves spending time with me. Still, He gives me all of Himself.
THAT is love.
Rest, my dear. Find rest in the fact that He is not calling you to fix all of the world's problems, but to bring healing to the hearts you encounter simply by being the woman you are, filled with the Life-giving Spirit of God. The rest will come together in due time. He sees the world and all of its ills, and He is bringing redemption in His own time and ways...and you will know your place in the story as you simply wait on Him. Peace, friend.
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