Things that are on my desk (and my mind)

on my desk:
a water bottle
several to-do lists
math homework
a bunch of paper with random writings
Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. (My sister just sent it to me. I'm super excited about it.)
two mugs of pens and pencils
sweedish fish
mint mentos
a sweet duct tape orange polka dot flower hair clip that T gave to me
about a thousand post-it notes....

on my mind:
What I want to do for the rest of my life is not a job. By that I mean, there is no job (that I know of) that feeds these exact passions. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with a not so special job, as long as my dot still affects (effects? dangit) eternity. I will have books, tea, a window or two, hopefully a large dog to sit at my feet, and maybe the soft wail of a train in the distance. (I'm real flexible on that one though.) I will have people over often. I find it kind of funny, whenever I imagine my future, there's never a man. Even when I was little- especially when I was little, dreams of older me was never married. Who knows what God will do. Doesn't matter either way, I just find it interesting.

also on my mind:
I'm sick and tired of women being treated like objects. Wanting respect doesn't make me feminist. People don't talk about it either. They talk a little bit about media, but nothing about real people, friends and family being treated badly. I refuse to not talk about it. I posted something about it on my facebook Friday night and no one responded. I hope that means people read it and were too embarrassed to respond.

I want to be gentle this year. gentle, graceful, generous. But I'll start with gentle.

Last week I stayed off of hulu. (If you don't know, it's an web site that has tv shows.) It was really good. Well, until about Thursday. Then I got antsy for it. But I stayed off it until Saturday. No tv all week. I had so much more time. God really gave me time. A class was cancelled on Friday and I woke up before my alarm almost all week. I'm not saying He gave me time because I didn't watch tv. I'm saying that when I use my time for Him, He blesses me with it. Or, he did last week. I don't know what this week will bring. But when I went back to watching stuff on Saturday, I lost my focus again. I just wanted to watch unfulfilling television shows, when I know and have experienced real life. So I want to end my relationship with hulu. I think I will watch Modern Family, but that's it. I want to read books! and find music! and read the beautiful Old Testament! and spend time with friends! and spend time with J!

Off to another crazy busy week. Trying to stay calm. 


"it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 peter 3:3-4)