It's not ok.

In March? (I think it was March?) I wrote a note about things I needed to say so I didn't implode. Well this is part two. I'm not going to implode today, because I got to talk to Sam and Emily. But I need to write. I haven't written a good poem in weeks. Some ramblage has got to come out. Sometimes meaningful conversations are more important than studying or sleep.

Cru. I didn't want to go, cause I'm just not feeling bouncy and bubbly and happy tonight, and I didn't want to pretend I was. But being the only cru this month, I felt sort of obligated to go. So I went. And in the middle of the social justice talk were the statistics of how many women get sexually assaulted and the reminder that we aren't treated like we should be. (I'm not going to re-hash it, we can talk about it in person someday if you want.)

Anytime those stats come into conversation, or anything to do with the disgustingness of how we are treated, I get angry. Furious.

It's not ok.

Where are the men who are stepping up?

How the heck have I made it this far mostly un-scarred?

I am furious at the American society.

It goes so far beyond the media. Yeah, the media plays a big part. But sometimes I think it is all we focus on. Friends, I don't watch much tv. I don't listen to a lot of objectifying music. I don't go a lot of places. And I feel almost swallowed by it.

It's not ok.

This is not ok.

This is not acceptable.

We are God's girls.

Treat us as such.

It goes both ways for sure. It's rather sticky, not so clear. Men aren't treated right either. I get that. And the people who would read this are doing just fine in their treatment of people, I am fairly sure.

But I have to let it out. I have to say it. It eats us.

Dear American Society,

I am angry, and I don't know what to do about it. I'm just one girl. It's hard for me to fight your lies for all the others of us. I'm worried they won't listen to me. We all tell each other we're beautiful till we're blue in the face and no one really believes it. But I'll do it anyway, because I can't sit around and watch myself and everyone else get trampled over by your ridiculous values and standards and LIES.

ahem.

Sincerely,

me.