3/9/11

“Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.


Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.


She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.


Buy her another cup of coffee.


Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.


It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.


She has to give it a shot somehow.


Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.


Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.


Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.


If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.


You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.


You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.


Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.


Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”


— Rosemary Urquico

3/8/11

being a silly girl

Half of me wants to go find him and say "I'm madly in love with you and I don't even know you." (Though that's not entirely true on either part, but it sounds good, and it's true enough.) And he, being the gentleman he is, will give me a half smile as he takes a few steps back. He'll say something sympathetic and be very polite about it. (Only inside his head will he let himself wonder at what a freak I am.) And then he'll walk away and I'll never see him again. And I'll get over it.

But beyond that being a stupid idea, and not being brave enough, it would probably upset him. And I don't want to do that.

Oh how hard it is to be this girl I am!

I don't think this is at all how Lucy would act or think.

3/5/11

like my life

mmm. I like my life.

I am so glad I never dated in high school. I was looking at my neighbor's pictures on facebook. She looks so young!

I am so glad I never gave in to the pressure to look good, cute, wear all the right clothes, put all the right bumps in my hair, etc.

mmm I like this me.

3/3/11

so hard when you surrender it and it doesn't go away.


Jumbled

for the first time in my life, I have what I want. truly.

and then other things get thrown in, and they mean nothing to me. I feel as if I should want them, feel as if I should care, but I really don't.

and then I'm stuck, between being distracted, and loving what I have, and wondering what is good and what is better, and what is not as good.


I always thought this would be the arrival, but there is still so long to go.


every part of me wants only Jesus. My heart, my mind, my soul, my imagination, every part of me wants only Jesus. And society is taunting me. It's not temptation, I don't WANT it! But the values and thoughts of the world are trying so hard to convince me otherwise.


Stop distracting me! I have what I want!


reasons, I want my reasons to be faith. to be loyalty.

3/2/11

I need a big change. I'm so bored and restless.

like a tattoo.

... that's the only exciting thing I can think of that I could actually do.
How effective is removing distraction when you're trying to get rid of it long term?

(does that make ANY sense?)