Oh, how lonely night would be if not for the stars!
From a solely poetic, not scientific standpoint, they seem to be tiny, mysterious specks of light. While they do not illuminate the sky, they do make it somehow lighter. The night cannot envelope you, while the stars stay in their places. In a poetic sense, there is a top, an edge to the world, an end of this space and a start to a new one.
They are hopeful.
The One who made the stars loves me. with Real Love. He withholds no good thing. Walking home tonight, I was thinking about the way I love Him, too. With Real Love.
Crazy beautiful love.
Crazy fulfilling.
3/11/13
play
*hit over 10,000 blog viewings today! yay!
about Ben Harding's Voice by Nancy Bowen. (You can google image it- it is the first one)
we stood in the quiet air and waited for the gray words to seep into our hearts, chaos in a still place. The quiet was full and the color was loud. Red. Word vomit, but no words. This geometry danced the walls, this puddle of space meant to be safety. Red memories for this geometry, a sharpness we could not put a word to. we stood to wait for the quiet air and sharp geometrics to carry these gray words, to slice deep into our tissues, our veins, to pour them in. We stood in the quiet air and waited, chaos in a still place, plastered to the walls and gray story, for the words to seep and the sharp to stifle.
about Ben Harding's Voice by Nancy Bowen. (You can google image it- it is the first one)
we stood in the quiet air and waited for the gray words to seep into our hearts, chaos in a still place. The quiet was full and the color was loud. Red. Word vomit, but no words. This geometry danced the walls, this puddle of space meant to be safety. Red memories for this geometry, a sharpness we could not put a word to. we stood to wait for the quiet air and sharp geometrics to carry these gray words, to slice deep into our tissues, our veins, to pour them in. We stood in the quiet air and waited, chaos in a still place, plastered to the walls and gray story, for the words to seep and the sharp to stifle.
3/6/13
how to be.
I read a lot of women blogs about how to be.
Sometimes I forget that Ruth wasn't taught how to be from women blogs, Esther, Lydia, Mary and Martha, all those strong women- and all the others from then till now, weren't taught how to be via books or websites. But rather, the older women, and their Book.
Sometimes my heart gets in a tizzy (thanks, Amber, for the word) because all the websites say different things and yet the same things and they all say these things in such a beautiful way. I don't write like that.
It's all right.
It's okay.
We'll get there. :)
Sometimes I forget that Ruth wasn't taught how to be from women blogs, Esther, Lydia, Mary and Martha, all those strong women- and all the others from then till now, weren't taught how to be via books or websites. But rather, the older women, and their Book.
Sometimes my heart gets in a tizzy (thanks, Amber, for the word) because all the websites say different things and yet the same things and they all say these things in such a beautiful way. I don't write like that.
It's all right.
It's okay.
We'll get there. :)
3/5/13
Things that make my heart sing. Part II
So, this happened:
I was reading a book when my mom came home and told me it was snowing. I went out on the deck to look at it and then the explosion of joy happened.
Then I went outside. I ran around like a puppy for a few minutes and then paused to catch snowflakes on my tongue and fuzzy gloves, and then I licked snow off tree branches in the front yard.
THEN.
I felt something staring at me.
I turned to my left, and saw, DEER. I LIKE DEER. But I must admit they startled me and they were rather large and rather majestic looking and I skipped on up to my porch. I was going to stand there and watch them but then my excitement overtook me and I ran inside screaming "THERE ARE DEER!" to my parents, who also LIKE DEER. By the time we got back out to the yard they were wisely crossing the street, but I wandered down the sidewalk and caught another glimpse of them before I went back inside.
Things that make my heart sing. Part Two.
- airplane noises over my head on a snowy night. (actually any kind of night or day)
- DEER
- the absolute QUIET snow brings
- catching snowflakes in my mouth, on my gloves, in my hair
- screaming with delight
- SNOW
- this good book about Jesus!
I was reading a book when my mom came home and told me it was snowing. I went out on the deck to look at it and then the explosion of joy happened.
Then I went outside. I ran around like a puppy for a few minutes and then paused to catch snowflakes on my tongue and fuzzy gloves, and then I licked snow off tree branches in the front yard.
THEN.
I felt something staring at me.
I turned to my left, and saw, DEER. I LIKE DEER. But I must admit they startled me and they were rather large and rather majestic looking and I skipped on up to my porch. I was going to stand there and watch them but then my excitement overtook me and I ran inside screaming "THERE ARE DEER!" to my parents, who also LIKE DEER. By the time we got back out to the yard they were wisely crossing the street, but I wandered down the sidewalk and caught another glimpse of them before I went back inside.
Things that make my heart sing. Part Two.
- airplane noises over my head on a snowy night. (actually any kind of night or day)
- DEER
- the absolute QUIET snow brings
- catching snowflakes in my mouth, on my gloves, in my hair
- screaming with delight
- SNOW
- this good book about Jesus!
3/3/13
I stood in the lobby of the building my family has attended Sunday worship in my whole life, and realized I knew no one. And no one came to say hello, and the only person who said hello to me the whole time asked me if it was my first time there.
That is really hard.
I was so excited to go there today, and got there and realized I knew no one. And no one knew me.
Yesterday I was in the grocery store with my mama and there were all these bright signs advertising faster checkout! As if that was supposed to be a good thing.
I don't want a faster checkout. I want to go slow and ask the cashier and the person bagging my groceries how their day is actually going.
So these are things I can do.
I can ask deep questions of anyone I come in contact with.
And I can go slow. I can hand over my money slowly. I can take a program slowly, and look the greeter in the eye and say how are you? He will inevitably say "good!" and turn to the next. I cannot control his response. But I can control my questions.
I think these are good first steps to ignoring this oppressive culture.
That is really hard.
I was so excited to go there today, and got there and realized I knew no one. And no one knew me.
Yesterday I was in the grocery store with my mama and there were all these bright signs advertising faster checkout! As if that was supposed to be a good thing.
I don't want a faster checkout. I want to go slow and ask the cashier and the person bagging my groceries how their day is actually going.
So these are things I can do.
I can ask deep questions of anyone I come in contact with.
And I can go slow. I can hand over my money slowly. I can take a program slowly, and look the greeter in the eye and say how are you? He will inevitably say "good!" and turn to the next. I cannot control his response. But I can control my questions.
I think these are good first steps to ignoring this oppressive culture.
2/27/13
Things that make my heart sing
1. A note from my sweet roommate when I got home, about happy things that happened to her today.
2. It is snowing.
3. Dairy Queen- a mini double fudge cookie dough- which would have been at least a large in Europe.
4. Hospitality- Amber served me dinner- and let me walk her dog (okay, dog she lives with, but same thing.) I love the feeling of having a dog on the other end of a leash, walking in the snow.
5. Babysitting 12 boys... that wasn't the singing part, but the exhausted but invigorated feeling afterwards- and the cookie :)
6. Going to Taco bell to break the twenty for the babysitting, and getting to really hear how the workers were doing.
7. People who are going to be my good friends walking in- we went there spontaneously, and saw them spontaneously, and it was glorious.
8. A date for early tomorrow morning, for getting things done.
9. Being told, "it is an honor to meet you." An HONOR?! I feel so honored to meet HER!
10. No facebook today in honor of 27 million people who are slaves- and I don't miss it. :)
10 things to make my heart sing. :)
the best parts are people.
Isn't Jesus amazing? Dang, he loves so well! ;)
2. It is snowing.
3. Dairy Queen- a mini double fudge cookie dough- which would have been at least a large in Europe.
4. Hospitality- Amber served me dinner- and let me walk her dog (okay, dog she lives with, but same thing.) I love the feeling of having a dog on the other end of a leash, walking in the snow.
5. Babysitting 12 boys... that wasn't the singing part, but the exhausted but invigorated feeling afterwards- and the cookie :)
6. Going to Taco bell to break the twenty for the babysitting, and getting to really hear how the workers were doing.
7. People who are going to be my good friends walking in- we went there spontaneously, and saw them spontaneously, and it was glorious.
8. A date for early tomorrow morning, for getting things done.
9. Being told, "it is an honor to meet you." An HONOR?! I feel so honored to meet HER!
10. No facebook today in honor of 27 million people who are slaves- and I don't miss it. :)
10 things to make my heart sing. :)
the best parts are people.
Isn't Jesus amazing? Dang, he loves so well! ;)
2/24/13
yellow yearnings
I'm just, tired of being afraid of DUST. (people) I wanna talk to people dagnabbits! I wanna tell them they're great! I wanna SPEW! I'M TIRED OF THIS CULTURE BUT I'M NOT TIRED, I'M RIPSNORTIN' READY TO GOOOOO!
I wanna sit in the front - of poetry readings of church, and shout JESUS! and shout Amen! and shout yeah! and clap real loud and tell the poet THANK YOU FOR COMING!
dance in my soul so I can break the rules.
......
He'll give.
I need to receive.
I wanna dance in the street.
I wanna wave my hands in church. I wanna reach, like I'm reaching up to heaven to grab God's hand.
I wanna ask deep questions.
dance in my soul so I can break the rules.
......
He'll give.
I need to receive.
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