That does not make me a feminist.
I am tired of how, in trying to do a project on women's health in Latin America, a LOT of the results were pages advertising "Latin Brides" or beautiful women. Gross.
I am tired of my friends thinking me dramatic because I live my emotions.
I am tired of being afraid.
I am tired of not having a close community of C followers here. I know lots, but I don't feel surrounded like I did at home. Those girls are still holding me together.
I am tired of people (including me) wasting time on stupid things instead of the important things.
I am tired of being distracted.
I am tired of eating my meals alone.
I am tired of not having constant, meaningful conversations.
I am tired of not getting enough sleep.
I am tired of noise.
I am tired of people's argumentative responses.
I am tired of cynicism.
I am tired of people always wanting the realistic.
I am tired of course joking, and nasty words.
I am tired of boys.
I am tired of not talking about it to anyone who really knows.
I am tired of listening, of waiting, of walking when I long to run, standing when I want to jump, keeping my mouth closed when I want to yell.
I am tired of not responding to tragedy.
I am tired of assignments.
I am tired of this campus. Of sitting in my room when I want so badly to be off exploring or walking, with someone- anyone.
I am tired of empty words. Of saying I want to change but being too afraid to actually do it.
I am tired of this brokenness.
I am tired of people not getting it.
I am tired of not being JOYFUL when I am full of joy or SORROWFUL when I have sorrow.
Mostly I am tired of being afraid. Cause if I wasn't afraid, I'd be so much more.
