peace

I tell him I don't know what's going on, and I use my little brother voice, which is comforting to realize. 


and then later G and I come to some sort of understanding, finally. 


and at last, I go to bed with peace. 


Slow steps to knowing. Slow steps to life. 


It's these soft reminders that hold so much weight. The stars as I left the church last night, my sweet dreams, strawberries and lunch with ones I love. These soft reminders that sink most deeply. Hearing all these strong voices singing around me, and being free to cry. 


Starting to realize in my heart these things You try to tell me every day. I don't want to forget You anymore. 


But glorious news, my heart is starting to understand and embrace this. 
In fact, today my heart feels like it is overflowing. My love bucket is full full full- want some of it? I'll gladly share!


Slow steps to all this goodness,
                      all this peace.


It's not instant gratification, because it's way better. 


Not the end fix, probably, but a good start. a good slow, steady start. 


Don't rule it out.