When I was small, people often told me that I was very patient. For a while I believed them, but then I realized that perhaps though outwardly I was good at hiding my impatience, standing still without wandering eyes or tapping toes, inwardly I was cringing, tapping my fingers against the wall, drawing a picture.
I hate to wait.
That's not to say I hate transitions or want something to always be happening, no, I love the feeling in the air just before it snows, I love watching winter approach, whether it be with a shout from the treetops or a whisper along the river bank. I love the minutes before sunrise, as the birds awake and the sky turns gray. I am quite able to do nothing, to lay about on the couch for an afternoon, basking in the sunlight, listening to soft music or nothing at all. I like airports, train stations, and bus stops. I don't mind long grocery lines, stop lights, or speed limits.
If I have planned to wait in the grocery line, I do not mind. Or driving, I always approach with a, "I'll get there when I get there" mentality. But I hate being late, because I'm waiting on myself. I hate waiting for others who are late, because, they might not come. I hate to wait for something I don't know will happen or not. I hate to wait for a place I have chosen, and God has chosen for me, but I can't get there yet.
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