Reflections on this eve of graduation

The future is no longer, I am here. I have arrived.

I made it through university, all four point five years, single. I have no fear of that, no fear of living my life with Jesus and, perhaps, a dog. I have been part of glorious communities of men and women who have carried me through.

I am unsure of what the future holds, where I will go, what I will do, how I will survive. I am not continuing my (formal) education in Psychology. I do not want to be a counselor. I do not (any longer) want to get my PhD. I know that this will be a struggle, as many of my friends are attending or plan to attend grad school, and I know so little about the degree I already (almost) have. I wonder if I will continue to struggle with feelings of academic inadequacy, even not being in school any longer.

I filled out a survey for BGSU, in which they asked a few simple questions. Do I have a job, am I looking for a job, Have I been offered a job? My answers, no, yes, no. But the yes, I’m not looking for a job in my field, no. I’m looking for a place to dive into, people to serve. I’m looking for my tribe. And I could not write that in any of the survey bubbles.

I am excited to close this chapter of my life. I know that life is scary after graduation, that people tend to get a bit depressed a few months after they graduate college and “real life” sets in. But I’m not worried. If all else fails, I have Jesus. So I’m not worried. I know that as I visit family over Christmas I’ll have to answer all the questions, and I’m not looking forward to it. I am a people pleaser and I don’t look forward to telling them things they won’t like. But I am not worried, for myself. 

I know it will get hard. Goodness, it already has. You don't have to be in any special part of life to experience the hard. But I'm excited. Jesus. 

JESUS.