big

I have a paper to write, a large paper. But I need to write this down first. I've wanted to write for awhile now, and every time I open up a new post I just end up shutting out of it again.

Several things. randomish. perhaps I will sort them into some sort of beauty later.

Thanksgiving.
I do not mind this role. I do not mind standing at the kitchen sink washing the china so my father can have a conversation with the Arab men in the dining room. I do not mind the back stage.

I have suddenly found in me a strong desire to live in a large city. Where has this come from? I find myself pretending I am walking in some metropolis, or the lights outside my window go longer into the distance. Hmm.

I am listening to O Come O Come Emmanuel. Many versions. Enya, Phil Wickham, Veni Veni, I love this song.

And I found this today too. Do you know the way you move me?

Lately I have been thinking about how God is much bigger than I think, uncontainable and indefinable. Any time I think about it, it overwhelms me (happily). That this vast being, who spoke to Moses and Noah, and became a man, the God of the stories I claim to believe, He loves me. He wants to be with me. It's absolutely crazy to think about.

Lots there, and I've been trying to live like that. Bold, courageous. Today He gave me an opportunity. It was easy, and the person I talked to did not reject it, like they inevitably someday will. But they were so grateful, and I was so grateful to be used.

And then one of my refugee friends messaged me on facebook. It is amazing to me that they still share their lives with me, that they still want contact, and that they use translators to talk with me. He said something- bad English aside, that sounded, (read) like "i wish you to bless my destination" (with typos hehe). I don't know exactly what he meant, but I wonder if he was asking for prayer... I don't know, but it was sweet.