things that have been floating around in my head

living extravagantly for Jesus/ freedom

I think I listened to a sermon on- was her name Mary... or was that something else- the woman who poured her perfume on Jesus, "wasting" a whole year's salary on it.

My friend is on the world race and learning freedom. 

free to live extravagantly for Jesus

free to "waste" on him.

choices- doing what I'm passionate about- if/when my passions line up with His.

letting Jesus pursue me, instead of chasing Him through other peoples' measures.

taking rest. Today I sat, for a short while, on the steps to a building on campus and enjoyed the soft wind and the sunshine and watching people. No music, no talking, just being.

the freedom to not worry about what others think of me. and by others I mostly mean my community, my brothers and sisters in Him. It stings when the world doesn't appreciate my life, the way I am, but it flat out hurts when my community misunderstands or doesn't approve. but I'm trying to learn that His freedom transcends even those who love Him. 

learning that even a cup of water is valuable if it is for Him. 

big things.

that maybe I can't live free because I'm trying to do it on my own. If I just chase harder, run faster, talk more.... that maybe I need to just stand in one place and wait for Him to come to me. maybe instead of seeking out people, to do more more more I need to sit in my living room and wait. or sit on the steps and enjoy the wind. maybe I can't live free because I'm afraid He doesn't like me. but He DOES like me. because I don't fit, I wonder if that means I should try different things. 

NO. 

No. I wasn't made like them and I think we lose a lot when we try to cram ourselves into each others' molds. I know I have (lost a lot).

so these are the things floating around in my soul.

big things.