bigbluewatertower

just. be.

Sarah said pain is beautiful. that it is allowed. that suffering is allowed. that American society doesn't let people hurt or suffer. 

let me hurt. i need to.

usually i find creative writing classes really boring. weird maybe, cause i have to write, but there's a big difference in writing and in talking about what someone else wrote. and though my professor for my modern poetry class is my absolute favorite professor, i'm usually incredibly bored in there. (i had her for a different class too.) BUT. sometimes, people get comfortable and start to spill what they really think and it is BEAUTIFUL. when people get comfortable in the not knowing, settle down for a good discussion. DELIGHT. 

I have decided that all poetry is spiritual. 

solitude, fragility, urgency, and emptiness.

and later i read a sociological article about social deviance, and it's almost enjoyable. and an airplane flies over, which has somehow always been a very comforting sound to me.

freshman year i could see the big water tower out my window, far in the distance and i loved that- it was the escape route, the highway, and i could see it. and now, there is a big, blue, pretty water tower just outside my window. 

and i'm wearing turkish pants.

and i guess i should eat, but i ate so many starbursts i'm not really hungry yet.

and i'm addicted to ellie goulding's "anything could happen."

and i want to dance- not because i'm happy, but because dancing is free. gotta get it out somehow. 

my friends are doing crazy cool things with their lives! 

like, woah, things.

!!

i need to unlearn my culture. or most of it. yeah.

workin' on that. 

just be