6/2/11

old

Listen to this. (if you have 6 minutes) It's one of those songs that reminds me of older times. One of those songs that stirs up so much emotion, I think I might cry. (A lot of songs are powerful to me, but seldom do they make me want to cry.) One of those songs that doesn't get old, the melodies don't settle. Each time I hear it, the music takes a backseat and nostalgia comes washing up. Piano, strings, percussion. It makes me want to dance, to spin, to frolic, to laugh, to to to... All these things of stories, that I am too afraid to do in this century.

A heart song. My heart hears it and wants to leap, and is pulled back. I always pull back.

Sometimes I see glimpses of places I've never been. I don't know if there are such places on this earth. But I keep imagining them. For years and years, I have remembered the same places, have longed to be in these places.

How sweet He is to me, to give me the imagination He did, the music to hear... How sweet He is to me and I am not so sweet back. Usually I am not even polite.

And then I become exhausted. My nose starts to run and then stuff up, and I wonder if anyone even wants to hear about my imagination. And I wonder if anyone needs to hear it. And I wonder when I'll start. And my brain starts to slow down and all the emotion seems to start to boil but the steam can't get out, and the effort is too much and I just want to stop, because I do not know what else to say to make anyone understand. I have no English words for it. No words at all, it's just this exploding swirl in my heart. And all at once it is both invigorating and incredibly exhausting. And the exhaustion wins. And I push it back until the next time He sends me something beautiful.

Sometimes beautiful things make me sad. I know why, but again, I have no words for you.

But you should listen to that song. Maybe you'll understand.


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