plea

steady my heart, Isa. hold me up because i feel i am falling into a hole like the one i fell into this morning. except, it's not the kind of hole you laugh about when you get your ankles and knees untangled. only when i am with You can i breathe slow, only then do my thoughts turn to the important things. i came here to love You but i think what i am doing is complaining a lot. i just don't know how to let it go. help me, Isa. hold my heart steady. i want to love well. 

szia!

Well, it's the time of year when I neglect this blog.

I'll write about it later though. It's totally worth it.

Have a great summer, y'all.

(pslawry.blogspot.com) << if ya wanna follow along.

five days, and i go back to a summer of heartbreak.

last year i was scrambling to finish the physical things. this year, i'm trying to get my mind/heart/soul set to go.

I stand outside and look at the cloudy sky, watch the fireflies like tiny, bouncing shooting stars. The world has been heavy lately, I whisper. I don't know how to put it down, give it up, let it go.

Let us not fall asleep.

Let us not fall asleep.

Let us not lie down and sleep when the hard comes because it is easier than standing.

Let us not choose the path of least resistance.

Even if we cannot physically help, let our minds and hearts be resolute in the way that is right.

Let us search for opportunities to go into the hard and shine our small candles.

Give us the patience and the courage to seek out the lost.

Give us the courage and boldness to storm the keep.

Remind us of what we have not earned. Remind us of love.

Show us how to share everything, how to be hospitable with our words, our time, our hands, the way that we walk.

Remind us to dance, to rejoice in the promise. Remind us to play, to thank.

Let us hold firm to our allegiance to the Kingdom.

Make us bold to stand before kings. Make us bold in love.

Give us the wisdom and strength to be quiet, to wait, to move, to shout.

Hold us steady.

cliche, hope piece

once you start to care about the world, there's no going back.

some people don't seem to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. I can cry just reading a news article.

sometimes I forget where I am and what I am doing.

I think that's one of the problems with America- we so easily forget that there is a world out there.

and then I remember and my heart cracks into pieces- but there is always hope. It might be a miniscule piece. But it is there.

The people who are helping, even if they are shut down. Even if they aren't known about, even if they'll never even be able to help one person, the people who have chosen the right way, there is always hope.

(mostly a reminder for me. for the next time I remember where I am and the responsibility and my heart smashes.)

Things I like about not having air conditioning

When I was little, I'd dream of the day I had a place with A/C. I loved sleeping at my friends' houses in the summer, being able to sleep under covers all year long.

But now, I hope I never have to live in a place where A/C rules. I've grown to love the air. :) (It sounds silly sometimes, even to me, as I would choose winter any day.)

• the satisfying way my skin cools down late at night- still sticky, but cool.
• breezes. I appreciate each of them.
• walking down near the river or in the woods because it is cooler there
• listening to owls at night through the open windows
• having the windows open at night, and the scent of the air filling the house
• feeling ice melt in my mouth
• appreciating a good glass of ice water
• lying in bed with just a sheet, or not, feeling the heat. I feel it connects me, somehow, to the rest of the world, to everyone else depending on breezes
• the experience of the temperature dropping before a summer storm.
• the coolness of morning and evening
• smells- honeysuckle, rain, summer...
• even the little no-see-um bugs that get in through the window screens. 

I'll be adding to the list. I think I appreciate life, air, more. And in an Anne of Green Gables sort of way, it's kind of romantic.