MercyMe The Hurt and the Healer
hearing this song for the first time on the radio right now. finding it rather soothing.
right after I refuse by Josh Wilson.
My university has lost too many people.
Jesus, help me to stay awake to the need for you.
5/17/12
5/14/12
changing
My passions are changing. It's slightly scary. I do not know if this is what God wants, or if my heart is choosing to be rebellious. I'm not worried, it is just an interesting something to think about. And I do think I am allowed to think about it.
Example. My heart wants to live in some rugged, beautiful place far away. Some place that is full of life and draining. Some place that is not empty of meaning or spirituality or life. I think, if I am honest with myself, I am afraid of loneliness. Fear might not be the right word. But whatever the emotion it brings (besides itself, of course), I don't like it. It is not at all pleasant to be lonely, not at all comfortable. And I know I say all the time that we (followers of Jesus) are not called to comfort, but loneliness is one type of uncomfortable I just don't want to deal with.
But. I also want to fight against loneliness and emptiness. I hate being lonely. But I want to go into the lonely places. And when I think of lonely places, I do not think of the culture rich places I dream about living in, I think of America.
I remember reading once that people working with Mother Theresa, when given the opportunity to work in Calcutta or America, often chose Calcutta because of the loneliness in America. I can't remember the book I read that in, but I haven't forgotten it. (Also I can't seem to find the right version of the word- Kolkata or Calcutta...)
I am sure lonely exists in every city of the world, but I cannot shake the feeling I will live here, at least for some portion of my life. (I mean, I already do, have, but you know.)
I know. I still have time. No need to think about that far into the future yet. But I like to.
I'm not saying anything. I trust God. There is no doubt in my mind that my life in Him will be full.
His opportunities for my life are endless. I would love to work with victims of human trafficking, but even more, I would love to communicate to men that buying sex is not allowed, not okay. I do believe that every one matters. And I also want to get to the root of the problem, the hearts. Every one girl who is rescued is incredibly important, and every one heart that is changed is also incredibly important. Stopping the selling and buying of human beings would be glorious. And changing the heart of one person to fight the trade, or at least decide not to take part in it would be beautiful too.
I believe in going to the unreached people groups and translating Books and showing films in jungles, and giving goats and sponsoring children and teaching sustainable farming methods and teaching English and sermons and all that good stuff.
My passions are changing. It's not that some are going away and others are filling the place, but that my heart's desires are becoming narrowed, and clear, and perhaps even broadening. There are more opportunities, so so so many ways God can use me, and the end goal is incredibly narrow. Show them Jesus, give an opportunity to step away from the lonely, the empty.
Well, enough rambling for now, I'm going outside. I will probably come back and ramble more later. ;)
thanks for reading.
Example. My heart wants to live in some rugged, beautiful place far away. Some place that is full of life and draining. Some place that is not empty of meaning or spirituality or life. I think, if I am honest with myself, I am afraid of loneliness. Fear might not be the right word. But whatever the emotion it brings (besides itself, of course), I don't like it. It is not at all pleasant to be lonely, not at all comfortable. And I know I say all the time that we (followers of Jesus) are not called to comfort, but loneliness is one type of uncomfortable I just don't want to deal with.
But. I also want to fight against loneliness and emptiness. I hate being lonely. But I want to go into the lonely places. And when I think of lonely places, I do not think of the culture rich places I dream about living in, I think of America.
I remember reading once that people working with Mother Theresa, when given the opportunity to work in Calcutta or America, often chose Calcutta because of the loneliness in America. I can't remember the book I read that in, but I haven't forgotten it. (Also I can't seem to find the right version of the word- Kolkata or Calcutta...)
I am sure lonely exists in every city of the world, but I cannot shake the feeling I will live here, at least for some portion of my life. (I mean, I already do, have, but you know.)
I know. I still have time. No need to think about that far into the future yet. But I like to.
I'm not saying anything. I trust God. There is no doubt in my mind that my life in Him will be full.
His opportunities for my life are endless. I would love to work with victims of human trafficking, but even more, I would love to communicate to men that buying sex is not allowed, not okay. I do believe that every one matters. And I also want to get to the root of the problem, the hearts. Every one girl who is rescued is incredibly important, and every one heart that is changed is also incredibly important. Stopping the selling and buying of human beings would be glorious. And changing the heart of one person to fight the trade, or at least decide not to take part in it would be beautiful too.
I believe in going to the unreached people groups and translating Books and showing films in jungles, and giving goats and sponsoring children and teaching sustainable farming methods and teaching English and sermons and all that good stuff.
My passions are changing. It's not that some are going away and others are filling the place, but that my heart's desires are becoming narrowed, and clear, and perhaps even broadening. There are more opportunities, so so so many ways God can use me, and the end goal is incredibly narrow. Show them Jesus, give an opportunity to step away from the lonely, the empty.
Well, enough rambling for now, I'm going outside. I will probably come back and ramble more later. ;)
thanks for reading.
5/7/12
i want to take care of people.
a friend just put on her facebook status that she is sick- any remedies for throat pain- I said honey and tea. but that's not the point. the point is she's in russia and i'm here. and i don't know her very well, but i wish i was there so i could personally make her tea with honey so she doesn't have to.
this huge surging in my heart to want to take care of people.
it is interesting.
encouraging.
hopeful.
a friend just put on her facebook status that she is sick- any remedies for throat pain- I said honey and tea. but that's not the point. the point is she's in russia and i'm here. and i don't know her very well, but i wish i was there so i could personally make her tea with honey so she doesn't have to.
this huge surging in my heart to want to take care of people.
it is interesting.
encouraging.
hopeful.
RAIN!
the rain.
my heart can hardly contain
its joy.
life and power
crashing and dancing
and trembling joy,
and the birds sing until bedtime.
God
and night
and rain
how could you possibly
want anything else,
dear heart?
my heart is leaping inside of me
listening,
my ears are laughing
my heart is dancing
God
with rain.
my heart can hardly contain
its joy.
life and power
crashing and dancing
and trembling joy,
and the birds sing until bedtime.
God
and night
and rain
how could you possibly
want anything else,
dear heart?
my heart is leaping inside of me
listening,
my ears are laughing
my heart is dancing
God
with rain.
5/6/12
We talk about Jesus.
The Jesus who hangs out with drug addicts and tax collectors and prostitutes.
The Jesus who sits on the couch, slouched, legs stretched out drinking tap water out of a class on a coaster with a picture of a wombat, talking to us. "Yeah, I know it's hard. I got it."
We read books. Me, Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliot, and mama, God Behaving Badly by David T. Lamb.
Water in glasses, the ice all melted, the windows open, two dragonfly type bugs mating on the window screen, can't see outside but sitting right next to it, listening to the beginnings of summer bugs, almost chilly.
The Jesus who hangs out with drug addicts and tax collectors and prostitutes.
The Jesus who sits on the couch, slouched, legs stretched out drinking tap water out of a class on a coaster with a picture of a wombat, talking to us. "Yeah, I know it's hard. I got it."
We read books. Me, Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliot, and mama, God Behaving Badly by David T. Lamb.
Water in glasses, the ice all melted, the windows open, two dragonfly type bugs mating on the window screen, can't see outside but sitting right next to it, listening to the beginnings of summer bugs, almost chilly.
5/4/12
thanks
Jesus
that He made me for wonder
wind
my loving parents who will take the day off to come pack my things into the van and drive me home
my beautiful, loving, supportive community in this town
and that there are people all over the world who love Him
water fountains
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