Things that are Good

I am oh so blessed. I forget this.

Last year, when my room was always busy, there was almost never anyone in the lounge, and I got a lot of quiet time in there. This year people are in there all the time. At first I was a little annoyed, but then I realized, I don't need the lounge like I needed it last year. Last year's lounge wasn't the norm.

My family has its spats, but the spats are much less often than the good times.

I am so thankful my thoughts don't revolve around money.

I am so thankful my family accepts me as I am. There are things I could change, definitely, but it isn't a constant battle to meet unrealistic expectations.

I am so thankful for this little bit of space that is mine. I am so thankful for the cooler weather today and the clouds, and my comfy bed, and this desk... and and and....

It's good to have less fun experiences so your gratitude for what you do have can swell up again.

loved

I feel loved.

More on this later.

---> ok it's later :)

Yesterday I had posted an event on facebook for prayer. People I don't even know that well responded to it. They don't even know the person. It was touching.

and then someone went out of their way to help me have a deep conversation. Also sweet.

I feel loved by the community here, even though I don't know them well.

And I love Nicole in Granada as well. :)

monday

people pleasing is not an option.

it stinks when half your family lives in different countries so you can't call them to talk, especially when your parents aren't home. I didn't have a phone when my sibs lived in the US of A, but if I had that's what I would miss a lot. Being able to just call your family.

I am frustrated with myself. But G is not. in about two months, I will have liked this boy for a whole year. and he still doesn't know who I am. well I don't know. but not really anyway. even if he did remember. I am still baffled at myself about it. can't I switch yet?

tomorrow is the best day. one class. the whole day to work. dancing. three good meals. mmm.

I'm going to bed early tonight and sleeping late. and by that I mean 11-8. or rather, right now to 8. as soon as I get there. I sound like I just woke up, time to go to bed.

I walked tonight, that was nice, and then I sat on a bench and listened.

yup. Goodnight y'all.

Someday I want to drive all night to tell someone I love them. (Or give a hug) I want to do crazy, meaningful things, without regard for silly things like time and gas prices. I want to let the important things be urgent. Let the beautiful things be noticed.

ok.

I will finish someday, hopefully.

I don't have to be on top of it all.

I can take it slow and try and do better.

Some people can handle lots of hours just fine, some can't. It's no reflection of the person.

I'ma be ok.

Day Two

I knew this semester was going to be the hardest yet. I knew I would have to battle lies of not being good enough, not being smart. I knew I would struggle with loneliness and feeling like being here is worthless. I didn't know it would hit day two. It's ok. I know G is going to do big things, and with that comes conflict. With that comes, quite frankly, war.

I know He has given me the ability to take these classes, and spend this time, and rest.

I know I am not alone, and when activities get rolling, I will have my supporting community back around me.

I know that this is where I am to be, at least for now.

I know that I am loved with an undying love.

It's going to be good in the end.

Goals

"They" like for you to have goals. So here.

Goals for the 2011-2012 school year

-Learn to seek approval from only One, and recognize the freedom in that.

-Spend a decent amount of time everyday with that One.

-Notice beauty

-Rest

-Recognize and renounce the lies that will inevitably try to creep in.

-Practice childlike faith: play, spin, skip, dance, etc.

-Learn to love people better.

-Always be thankful.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. (Colossians 3:12-15 NLT)