This is hard to read on this background. I'll change it. I was just thinking how my blog is really serious and not so much fun lately. So I wanted at least a fun background. I don't like the transparency, so I'm working on it. :D

I'm so tired of people saying things like, "let me pray real quick." and, "for the sake of time we'll just pray real fast..."

REALLY?!

For the sake of TIME we're going to skip out on talking to the Creator of the universe who loves us and wants to talk with us?!

REALLY?!

I think everything else should "for the sake of time" to that.

He says he's a thug. He uses nasty words like it's his job. He brags that he has done laundry only two times in his life. He dresses like he gives no hoot for the world.

And he plays Pachelbel beautifully on the piano. Without being prompted. There are other things going on, nobody notices or gives him any attention for it. (I, in disbelief that it's him, wander in from the other room to make sure.)

This culture squashes us. Men aren't how they are meant to be and neither are women.

But we're in there somewhere.

Sorry buddy, if I didn't think you were thuggish before, I definitely don't think you are now. But you did gain yourself a lot of respect.

I always complain about how society objectifies women. But it does the same thing to men. It might not be as visible or as easy to catch. I hate it when guys discuss how girls look. But I do the same thing. It's disgusting.

I've been asking G to teach me how to see guys like He does. To see past what society says. To see past the stereotypes.

And wowo is he showing me!

I definitely can't play Pachelbel (or anything) that beautifully on piano.

a thought. glances.

Today I was sitting in my contemporary poetry class. I looked up from the notes I was taking and met the eyes of the guy sitting across from me. The room is set up so that there is a big open space in the middle and you can see the people across from you. I'm finding no words to describe this. Sorry. Anyway, I met the eyes of this guy, and immediately he looked away. Part of me thought to myself, "yeah that's right. look away." But then I was thinking about it, and I wonder, what is wrong with glances? I certainly glance at people in my classes from time to time, trying to make connections or wondering how bored they are, or just looking out of my curiosity. I sit in his line of vision, he sits in mine. It means nothing, they're just glances. Just watching, making connections, familiarities. It's true what they say, that you're always watched. It has nothing to do with you, really. You just happen to be there. You're something to see. You're human. Don't you do it too? Just glances, not deep or long stares. Those aren't cool, but I'm just talking a look here and there, to see how you're doing, what you're doing, who you are. I have no way to end this, it's just something I was thinking about today. So thanks random boy, for sitting in my line of vision today!

~P

Honestly don't know how I'm going to make it through this semester.

I mean, I'll make it, but I would like to have time for friendships and be happy.

Last semester I enjoyed the business. This semester I don't have enough time. This morning I overslept and woke up ten minutes before I had to leave. bad. bad bad. Mornings are quiet for me. I center myself. I ease slowly into the day. I need that time.

Every single class has loads and loads and loads for me to do. I've never felt this stressed. Physically, I cannot do it. I have to sleep, I have to eat, I have to get some time with friends. I can't wear myself down already, it's only week two.

But I really don't know how I'll make it through without breaking down every other day.

Really makes me want to quit school all together.

sigh.

sorry for complaining.

conversation with society. 1.

No, Society, I do not need you to tell me what to do. I am quite content. Of course, I could always be improved, but I'm NOT going to go to YOU for that improvement. But as I am, single, I'm content with that. You don't understand that word then. Content. I have peace in my heart about it. There. Does that convince you? It should, since you're always yelling at me to follow my heart. Oh what? My heart isn't normal? What do you want me to follow then? Media? I think you know even those who follow that part of you know it isn't right. My brain then? My brain never wanted a relationship to begin with. Oh Society, you know nothing about me. You never will. I'm done talking to you, I need to do more important things. But just remember, I'm not yours. You can't tell me what to do. I refuse to listen to you. Just remember.

P

I survived adolescence!