a think

My friends are watching Robin Hood, and I was thinking to myself, "wow it would be scary to live then." I often think about how I would love to have lived in the past, back in Jane Austen's times or during the beginning of America, but I realize it must have been incredibly scary. Then again, people would know the social norms and know the corruption and how to live around it. But then, where I live now is probably pretty scary too. And then I was thinking, or rather, am thinking, that people haven't change so much. Our hearts are the same. Or maybe over the years they've weakened. But we're still people. I've been talking with people about how men are not fully men and women are not fully women, not like we're meant to be. We were talking in the context of American men and women, like maybe this is just some facade, we pretend that we know what it means to be men or to be women, but do we? I don't think we've got it. In different cultures, the way women and men act are so diffferent. So there's my incoherent ramble for the day. I might add more. What do you think?

also, things I am thankful for today:

the apple I ate earlier

and the cookie

the cold weather

getting to sleep in

my warm bed that is up high and feels like a nest

tomorrow being Sunday

shampoo

warm socks

poem I wrote in about five minutes

(or less)

ON MYSELF, & THIS SITUATION I AM IN NOW.

on the surface:

bubbling and swirling,

interrupted thoughts, thumping

“beware of falling rock”

loud, ominous crashes

all around, surrounding

will it ever end?

but inside, peace.

calm, soft wind

light breezes

whispers, deep trust

fountains and trickling streams

willows and sycamores

geese nesting

hope for the end of this, punctuated with giggles,

peace.

(I wrote that very quickly. The goal is not for it to be good, but for it to be truth.)

The sky today.

The sky today.

The sun was shining brilliantly from one half of the sky, and the strong, elegant grey was standing equally as strong from the other side. The winter trees bathed in gold looked gorgeous. The air was crisp, and I was enraptured. :)

still am enraptured, in fact. Though now the grey is taking over and the clouds are underlined in pink and yellow and there are random blue spots popping up here and there.

I took loads of pictures.

Here are a few. Now, I just got a new camera and I was playing around with the settings. I don't pretend to know what I'm doing, I just take pictures for my own viewing pleasure. So I know they're not magnificent photos :)

I hope you are having a wonderful day!

This is the one of the last pictures I took. This is later.

You probably can't see the flakes, but it is snowing!

Again, probably can't tell, but any dark specks in the blue are snow flakes

I just like these :)

and I like you! teehee!

the ups and downs of being quiet

I'm more quiet than the average Mary Ellen. It took me a long time to realize, but being quiet is a good thing. Not being mousey, or mute, but just more quiet. I admit, I am more mute than quiet in a lot of settings, and I am going to work on this. But I want to list out some ups and downs of being a generally more quiet person than the average Mary Ellen.

1. You get pegged. Scenario: You're sitting in the backseat of a car and a certain song comes on the radio. One friend in the front says to the other friends who is driving, "we should probably change it. She probably doesn't like this kind of music." But just then you recognize what song it is and realize that you love this song! So that's what you say. "I love this song!" They both (well actually only one of them turns around to look at you in disbelief. The other one is driving) turn and look at you and one of them says, "Really? I wouldn't have thought you would like this." "Yup" you say, "I like anything pretty much. As long as it has a beat." They're sort of in disbelief but happy too, and turn up the song and keep driving. Something like that has happened to me sooo many times.

2. People assume you're academically talented. They assume you know all the answers. They assume you will cry if you get anything under an A.

3. People talk around you. They're not afraid to say anything at all, because I doubt they even know you're there, or if they do, you're quiet, who would you tell? So you learn lots of things about people around you. You know a lot of names, you recognize a lot of people.

4. You can scare your roommate. Today I went to the bathroom, then walked back into the room to get my dish soap, then walked back out to wash my glasses, then came back in. I was moving around, and when I crunched my trash down in the bag getting ready to take it out, and she just about jumped out of my chair. And then she told me I'd scared her because I was being so quiet. And then she told me that some days when we're both just looking at our computer screens for a long time she sort of forgets I'm there. (MOOHAHAHAHA!)

5. People assume you're shy. They assume that because you listen more than you talk, you must be afraid to talk.

43 Things

43things

That is a wonderful site.

silence, and other tangents

Ahhh, silence. I enjoy my five minutes of it before it ends or I fall asleep tonight. I enjoy all the silence I get. Tonight I get five minutes. I love the sounds during quiet. The sounds of the wind rattling the windows, the plastic blinds clicking together, my roommate typing keys, doors shutting and people walking in the hallway. And then she realizes it's quiet and turns on the fan. I don't enjoy the fan as much, but I handle it, like I handle the tv the rest of the time. From eight in the morning till about 12 at night, most days it's on. I don't enjoy it, but I handle it, although I much prefer the quiet and the little sounds that come along with it. At least I can still hear the train whistles over the fan. The enthusiastic whirrs can't drown out the haunting wail of the trains. They are my escape at night, if I cannot see moonlight. I deal with the constant noise for those darling pieces of quiet. I say silence, but it's never silent, truly. I love the little sounds you sometimes miss when the tv is on or the radio is blaring. I love the elegant sounds of papers shuffling, the scrape of paper edges as you turn pages, the scratches of pen on paper. When it's quiet you're so much more aware of not only the sounds, but all of the surroundings- the way the setting sun is making the carpet golden or the fact that those plastic blinds are moving ever so slightly. Typing becomes its own rhythm, your clothes rubbing against your desk are their own song. You are secretive, not to be found out by any sound coming from behind the door except soft typing, the sounds of socks rubbing carpet, or a dresser drawer opening and closing. I take it when I can get it, and when I can't get it (like now), I blast wailing, haunting music into my ears. Music that understands the need for soft, for not drowning out, for sometimes embracing the quiet. But it is silly, I use it to drown out course words from the tv, words that don't appreciate quiet. But better to have loud, soft music than noise filling meaningless in the background, right?

*Like a lot of people, my roommate can't have quiet. It makes me super sad, cause I really think she's missing out, but I'm not saying that it makes me mad when people have constant background noise, I just want to say that some quiet can be a marvelous thing.

Have a beautiful day!

-P

blip

tried to change the background of my blog today, but so far it hasn't worked. so hmm. will keep working on it. I quite like "frolic" but wanted to try something new.

aaanyways, that is not why I got to blogging today. so I'll be on with that now :)