update...

Nothing super exciting has happened lately. I had fall break, that was really refreshing! I got to see Sarah! Classes are going all right mostly, except Russian... but it's my own fault for taking it. urg. I've got swinging (like at a playground- not dancing) a few times with my friend Lara. (I love playgrounds!) My dance class is amazingly fun! Unfortunately it only meets two days a week for fifty minutes. sad. I'm loving the cooler weather and can't wait for winter! So yeah, life is pretty good. I neeeeed to learn how to talk to boys though. just friends ;)

love!

P

highlights of latelies

1. went puddle jumping! so fun. :)

2. *tried* to play hopscotch, and then drew a pretty landscape on the ground instead. (both of these things with Lara) (The best part was not caring that people saw us and thought we were dumb.)

3. got to see the tail end of some fireworks from the football game. My roomsie and I RAN down the stairs and past the other dorm so we could see them. it was kind of exciting.

4. looked at the moon last night with Lara. It's always nice to appreciate something with someone else.

5. had a dance party in my room on saturday night. (mostly just me dancing, but it was still super fun. :D

Interview with an IJM (International Justice Mission) investigator

It's about five minutes.

My latest...

Last week I had a Russian test. I failed. Miserably. Don’t believe me? 39%. I knew I would do badly, I just can’t get the stuff figured out. Studying for that was incredibly stressful and it just made me disgusted with everything to do with that language. Wednesday my friend and I both almost cried during that class. And then Thursday trying to study I just completely broke down. So Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were incredibly stressful with Russian. To make things worse, my Russian teacher has been very unprofessional in how she talks about the Russian professor I had last semester. I’ll be the first to admit she wasn’t the greatest teacher, but she was my teacher, and I really liked her as a person and I respected her. So for my current professor to be so rude I get pretty upset.

I’m also stressed because I have too many activities. Between 18 hours of school and my activities I have almost no free time. I’m either studying, in class, sleeping, or at one of my activities. I liked the business before, but now it is really starting to stress me out. I don’t want to cut anything out but I know I need to. But I don’t know what.

I really need to just go cry it out. But whenever I’m alone I get all giggly. It’s only when I’m with other people that I feel I’ll explode. It stinks. I need to let it out.

I’m ok though. I’ve decided I’m FINISHED with stress. (I know I decide that like once a week.) I know I will get stressed again. But somewhere in my mind I must remember that in the light of eternity it doesn’t matter. If it takes me seven years to graduate from college, it doesn’t matter. If I have to wait seven years to get into my field, it doesn’t matter. If people hate me, it doesn’t matter. No matter what they think of me, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t really matter. I’m TIRED of looking to the broken culture around me for guidance. I’m TIRED of pretending to be the same. I’m TIRED of keeping quiet when something makes me passionate. I’m TIRED of being afraid. And yeah, I can shout this out through ink all I want. That’s not difficult at all. No risk. I’m TIRED of not taking a risk because I am too afraid that this culture will reject me. I’m tired of being afraid of this culture. Tired Tired Tired.

wow that ended up being about something completely different than how it started. ha. doesn’t it always happen that way.

song

don't know where you are spiritually but I absolutely love this song. Here it is, if you want to listen to it.

Embracing Accusations, Shane and Shane

Have a lovely day!

PB&J

I want to be that which the world cannot and refuses to understand. I want to live with a joy the world does not know exists. I want to live in such a way that will inevitably get me judged, stereotyped, and disliked. I want to jump in the rain puddles at noon and skip when I am happy. I want to spin around, laughing at the night sky, giggly and laughing at seemingly nothing. I want to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in such a way that will make people wonder what has gotten into me. I want to laugh when something strikes me funny and cry when something strikes me sad. I want to marvel aloud at the grass and the butterflies and the velvet night sky. I want to live in such a way that the world will narrow its eyes and frown, and wonder what planet I’ve come from.

It is when I am this way, that I will finally be me, completely. and I will be happy.

weekend

I've been having a GREAT weekend. (Hope you have been too!)

Friday night my roommate went home and then I went over to a girl's apartment. (I had just met her the night before) She, and another girl and I played scene it jr. and watched She's the Man and then Titanic was on t.v. so we watched some of that. (UGH. That made me so sad!!)

Saturday I was planning on just doing homework but I woke up kind of late so I cleaned, called my grandparents, had lunch, and then I had a facebook message inviting me to go to a barn dance for internationals!!! That was SO SO SO fun! We did line dances, circle dances, and square dances. We had no idea what we were doing half the time and it was awesome fun! It was also in a really pretty place. It was at someone's house in the country and they have a really big field for hay rides and a nice sized pond. It was gorgeous and SO NICE to get off of campus and into someplace pretty for a bit.

Then when I got back from that I went with a friend to her friend's apartment and we watched Blood Diamond. SO SAD.

Today I went to church, had lunch with friends, called a friend, did some work, then went out and took a walk around campus and took pictures. It is GORGEOUS outside. No school tomorrow and then Tuesday I only have one this week! eep!

Hope you're having a great day!

P